i rove china

So, yesterday, we took our children to China. It was the Third Annual Apach Chinese Expedition. We took them down to Canteen and told them they were going to get served on the inside where the big kids usually go because we were alone in camp for the night. Adam walked inside and said, "Shay, someone outside needs to talk to you." As I walked out, I slammed the door and started yelling like I was getting beat up. Then, two other staff members dressed in camo and black came in and told the kids that I had been kidnapped. The kids were then taken into a dark room, where Bobby Black, the camp pastor, was tied to a chair. He was interrogated (and slapped) by the other two counselors and given an "injection" of the "truth serum." After the injection, he told the kids that I had been taken to China. The kids were given the truth serum (a misxture of Sprite and grenadine), blindfolded, and loaded into the hay wagon. The truck drove around the lake twice as the counselors pretended that Chinese soldiers were chasing them and attacking them. The kids were loaded into canoes (wearing life jackets, of course) and a counselor paddled them across the lake, while two other staffers stood with me on the blob tower and threw water balloons at them. We told them that they were being bombed... obviously. I accidentally hit one kid in the head with one, but after the game was over, he ran up to me and was like, "Shay, I actually got hit with a bomb in the head and I survived!!!" It was awesome. After they canoed, they were led across the Middle Green to this unused road at the back of camp, where I was tied to a gate. They freed me just as it started raining, so I led them down to the infirmary, which we had decorated in Dollar Store Chinese paraphernalia. They ate a Chinese meal which could have been the most disgusting food... ever. So I told my staff that I would get them Wendy's later. After dinner, we played dodgeball with the kids. Now, even though staff can only throw underhand, it is still an amazing stress reliever to pelt small children with 4-square balls. They didn't even cry. Then, we put the kids to bed and I went with Shannon the Awesome to get Wendy's. We were stupid enough to order food for 10 people and not check the order after we got it. We got back to camp and we were short 2 Frosty's, 1 french fry, Sprite, and... Ranch Dressing. Now, you can mess with my frozen beverages or my fried potatoes, but you take away my Ranch, and you know I'm gonna throw down. So I threw that car right into reverse and drove back to Wendy's like Satan was chasing me. I think they knew I was coming, because the manager came to the window. He gave us all our food and even a new thing of chicken nuggets because mine were lukewarm. It was great. I came back to camp, ate, and got to sleep at 10:15. Here's the thing: I sleep with my cell phone because I set my alarm to vibrate and it wakes me up. I know that may be weird, but whatever. Well, last night, I woke up and realized that my phone was nowhere to be found. I freaked out and looked, but it was dark and I didn't want people to wake up and think I was crazy. So... I went back to sleep and woke up this morning as the phone vibrated under the bed. How it got to the center of the bottom of the bed is BEYOND me, but it happened. My phone is now under control and sitting front of me, though. That is all.