cooler than being cool

Yesterday was our trip for the two weeks. We took the kids to Sliding Rock and Chuck E. Cheese in Asheville. It was amazing. The funny thing was that it was already cold outside, so having the kids get in the freezing water definitely froze them to death. But apparently they didn't care, because they kept going down the rock over and over and over and over. I think there was a kid who went down like 40 times in the two hours that we were there. I couldn't get in because I was already sick, which made me sad. But I watched my staff go down in trains and everything. They were cracking me up. The faces that children make when they drop into ice-cold water are priceless. It looks as though someone has just cut off a vital part of their body. Yet they go under and emerge with their fists in the air, screaming about how awesome it was. And then, they go again. Obviously. So, being the amazing Tribal Leader that I am, I made sure the bus driver knew where she was going and told her to go ahead, and that I would grab the minivan. But thennnnnnnn I realized that I didn't have directions for myself. So we found Karen Neal, the camp photographer, and told her we would follow her. I let Lauren Ferguson drive the van because I didn't feel well. Unfortunately, we missed the exit we were supposed to take and lost everyone that we were following. So, Lauren and I attempted to remember where Sliding Rock was from our previous visits to the attraction. Due to the fact that we are awesome (and that Lauren called someone), we got to Sliding Rock without any other problems. However, we realized that, despite the fact that Karen Neal was 10 minutes ahead of us in driving, she was not at the park. But, we went inside anyways and hoped that she would show up and take pictures. An hour later, she arrived with Jared, the videographer. I was like, "Hi. Where were you?" Karen told me they stopped at a gas station. Obviously, she lied. She got lost. I'm not bragging. I'm just saying that we got there without getting lost. No big deal. Well, the kids went down the rock, blah blah. Then we left. We drove to Chuck E. Cheese, where we met up with Robert Suggs and Bobbly Black (who is, coincidentally, the only black man on staff, and an amazing person who is a Madea fan... yessssss). Now, I can't stand incompetency. And the staff there epitomized that concept. First of all, they lost our reservation, so I had to rework the entire thing yesterday morning. Then we arrive and they act as though they have never encountered a large group of children before. I was thinking, your job is to facilitate birthday parties that consist of large groups of children. Please act as though you have any idea what you do for a living. They were unable to divide by 5 as we attempted to order pizza. They were unable to calculate pricing. It was just incredibly painful. But, things worked out so the children ate and played games. It was sweeeeet. I made the mistake of eating pizza and almost puked my brains out. I went to bed early and feel much better today. I believe that is all. Oh, I also realized I am overly protective of my new camera. Ok. Bye.